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Be Yourself, Everybody Else is Already Taken –
(How to Get What You Want)
One can only imagine how genuine these words felt to Oscar Wilde
when he penned the expression, “Be Yourself, Everybody Else is
Already Taken.” I wasn’t even sure myself until I stumbled upon the
quote, was moved by its honest humor and researched the Irish
writer’s background to understand what he meant. Wilde was an
intelligent, once privileged and highly educated playwright who
suffered greatly for opinions and choices that were outside of London
society, eventually leading to his imprisonment, poverty and an early
death.
No one strives to live a life in exile. Adversity comes at us every day in
rapid fire as we dodge and take shelter from its surge. How we
handle adversity evolves in many forms. We start by avoiding with
denial. Then we survive just to get by often burying ourselves in long
hours, rejection, backstabbing or drudgery. We cope sometimes with
useful mechanisms such as exercise and communication and
sometimes with the negative influences of the vices. We manage by
setting goals to be productive but still are void of satisfaction. And
eventually, we hope to achieve the ability to elevate ourselves to true
contentment and do the same for others. But how we get there
remains the dilemma that can keep us imprisoned from all that we
desire – peace and fulfillment.
The formula for this is very simple: First, you want to identify what is
the thing that if accomplished would bring you the most fulfillment in
life. Second, you want to eliminate the single biggest thing that
stands in its way. This isn’t as easy. The challenge of eliminating
your greatest oppositions has been at the root of self-help books and
therapists’ work for centuries.
How to Get What You Want
1. Make an “Area of Importance List.” Write down every area of your
life that is important to you. This may include friends, sports,
achievement, community service, work, family, etc.
2. Set two or more “Targets” for each Area of Importance. Identify
two to three things you’d like to accomplish for each of the areas
identified.
3. Identify the “Barriers” for each Target. Barriers could be a feeling
or a tangible obstructer ie: don’t have the confidence or don’t have the
needed education. Spend thoughtful time on this list as this is what
is keeping you from what you want.
4. For each Area of Importance, select the one “Key Barrier.”
Which area, if addressed has the greatest potential of helping you the
most to reach fulfillment?
5. Prioritize what “Key Target” (from #2) is most important to your
fulfillment. This is the one thing that were it to occur, you’d never
again feel as if you were out of alignment with yourself or what you
want.
6. Prioritize what “Key Barrier” is keeping you from your “Key
Target.” This one barrier is so vast and so overwhelming that just the
thought of it lapses you back into a state where you can’t even
imagine fulfillment coming to life. This barrier obstructs your vision of
a life of peace and harmony with yourself and all that is around you.
7. “Clear the Key Barrier.” This is the most difficult part of the
exercise. This barrier has been part of you for so long that you are
comfortable having it around even though you know it hinders your
happiness. You don’t know how to let it go because you are not sure
what to replace it with nor are you comfortable with the sustainability
of replacing it with anything.
In my years of executive coaching I have seen these barriers effect
corporate culture, team synergy, productivity and personal happiness
for dozens of very well educated and accomplished professionals.
What I will tell you is that the people who are able to win the battle with
their “Key Barrier” and get it out of the way do it with two key strategies:
1) They become curious about the “Key Barrier” and 2) They become
compassionate to it.
They understand that this “Key Barrier” is part of them and will likely re-
surface intermittently for the rest of their lives. They accept that. They
recognize when the “Key Barrier” is rearing its head earlier in various
scenarios than they used to. And they know what to do with it.
From a curious perspective, they ask themselves what is going on in
their body and their emotions when they start to notice the “Key
Barrier.” What is that barrier trying to protect you from? Ask it. Why is
it showing up now? What is the worst that could happen? What
would happen if it were to take a back seat for today?
From a compassionate perspective, they embrace that the barrier is
trying to protect them from something – harm?, hurt?, pain?, loss?,
disappointment? They notice how they feel about the part of them that
is only trying to protect them. It helps them to suffer less resistance to
it – be less shut down. They want to nurture it and assure it that the
worst that could happen is not likely. They invite it to experience joy.
Be curious and compassionate about your “Key Barriers.” They’re
part of you. This way you will get back to being yourself. After all,
everybody else is already taken. Start now!
Sign up for Mary Lee’s free Executive Coaching e-newsletter at
info@startingovernow.com.
Get Mary Lee’s free tip sheets on “Get ‘Unstuck!’” and “Change – Here’
s How!” as well as many other articles at Articles and Tip Sheets.
Email this information to a friend. Follow Mary Lee’s tips on Twitter at
StartingOverNow.
Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group - a full service
executive coaching, training and consulting firm that provides
turnaround strategies for people and organizations by improving
team performance, executive leadership skills, board performance,
planning and project execution. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came
as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old,
who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country
club life to public assistance from where within a short time she
worked out of that to the level of CEO. Her book "Starting Over - 25
Rules for When You've Bottomed Out" is available in bookstores and
at with online book sellers.
(How to Get What You Want)
One can only imagine how genuine these words felt to Oscar Wilde
when he penned the expression, “Be Yourself, Everybody Else is
Already Taken.” I wasn’t even sure myself until I stumbled upon the
quote, was moved by its honest humor and researched the Irish
writer’s background to understand what he meant. Wilde was an
intelligent, once privileged and highly educated playwright who
suffered greatly for opinions and choices that were outside of London
society, eventually leading to his imprisonment, poverty and an early
death.
No one strives to live a life in exile. Adversity comes at us every day in
rapid fire as we dodge and take shelter from its surge. How we
handle adversity evolves in many forms. We start by avoiding with
denial. Then we survive just to get by often burying ourselves in long
hours, rejection, backstabbing or drudgery. We cope sometimes with
useful mechanisms such as exercise and communication and
sometimes with the negative influences of the vices. We manage by
setting goals to be productive but still are void of satisfaction. And
eventually, we hope to achieve the ability to elevate ourselves to true
contentment and do the same for others. But how we get there
remains the dilemma that can keep us imprisoned from all that we
desire – peace and fulfillment.
The formula for this is very simple: First, you want to identify what is
the thing that if accomplished would bring you the most fulfillment in
life. Second, you want to eliminate the single biggest thing that
stands in its way. This isn’t as easy. The challenge of eliminating
your greatest oppositions has been at the root of self-help books and
therapists’ work for centuries.
How to Get What You Want
1. Make an “Area of Importance List.” Write down every area of your
life that is important to you. This may include friends, sports,
achievement, community service, work, family, etc.
2. Set two or more “Targets” for each Area of Importance. Identify
two to three things you’d like to accomplish for each of the areas
identified.
3. Identify the “Barriers” for each Target. Barriers could be a feeling
or a tangible obstructer ie: don’t have the confidence or don’t have the
needed education. Spend thoughtful time on this list as this is what
is keeping you from what you want.
4. For each Area of Importance, select the one “Key Barrier.”
Which area, if addressed has the greatest potential of helping you the
most to reach fulfillment?
5. Prioritize what “Key Target” (from #2) is most important to your
fulfillment. This is the one thing that were it to occur, you’d never
again feel as if you were out of alignment with yourself or what you
want.
6. Prioritize what “Key Barrier” is keeping you from your “Key
Target.” This one barrier is so vast and so overwhelming that just the
thought of it lapses you back into a state where you can’t even
imagine fulfillment coming to life. This barrier obstructs your vision of
a life of peace and harmony with yourself and all that is around you.
7. “Clear the Key Barrier.” This is the most difficult part of the
exercise. This barrier has been part of you for so long that you are
comfortable having it around even though you know it hinders your
happiness. You don’t know how to let it go because you are not sure
what to replace it with nor are you comfortable with the sustainability
of replacing it with anything.
In my years of executive coaching I have seen these barriers effect
corporate culture, team synergy, productivity and personal happiness
for dozens of very well educated and accomplished professionals.
What I will tell you is that the people who are able to win the battle with
their “Key Barrier” and get it out of the way do it with two key strategies:
1) They become curious about the “Key Barrier” and 2) They become
compassionate to it.
They understand that this “Key Barrier” is part of them and will likely re-
surface intermittently for the rest of their lives. They accept that. They
recognize when the “Key Barrier” is rearing its head earlier in various
scenarios than they used to. And they know what to do with it.
From a curious perspective, they ask themselves what is going on in
their body and their emotions when they start to notice the “Key
Barrier.” What is that barrier trying to protect you from? Ask it. Why is
it showing up now? What is the worst that could happen? What
would happen if it were to take a back seat for today?
From a compassionate perspective, they embrace that the barrier is
trying to protect them from something – harm?, hurt?, pain?, loss?,
disappointment? They notice how they feel about the part of them that
is only trying to protect them. It helps them to suffer less resistance to
it – be less shut down. They want to nurture it and assure it that the
worst that could happen is not likely. They invite it to experience joy.
Be curious and compassionate about your “Key Barriers.” They’re
part of you. This way you will get back to being yourself. After all,
everybody else is already taken. Start now!
Sign up for Mary Lee’s free Executive Coaching e-newsletter at
info@startingovernow.com.
Get Mary Lee’s free tip sheets on “Get ‘Unstuck!’” and “Change – Here’
s How!” as well as many other articles at Articles and Tip Sheets.
Email this information to a friend. Follow Mary Lee’s tips on Twitter at
StartingOverNow.
Mary Lee Gannon is the president of Gannon Group - a full service
executive coaching, training and consulting firm that provides
turnaround strategies for people and organizations by improving
team performance, executive leadership skills, board performance,
planning and project execution. Mary Lee’s personal turnaround came
as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old,
who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country
club life to public assistance from where within a short time she
worked out of that to the level of CEO. Her book "Starting Over - 25
Rules for When You've Bottomed Out" is available in bookstores and
at with online book sellers.
StartingOverNow.com
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"Worksheets and
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FREE resources on
this site are:
* Starting over in
their career or
personal life
* Empty nesters
* Entrepreneurs
* Networking
* Job Seekers
* Starting all over
again
* Going through a
divorce
* Looking for career
opportunities
* Seeking FREE
career advice and
education
* Finding mentors
* Setting new life
goals
To chart your road
map to success
click here for FREE
"Worksheets and
Articles."
Turnaround Solutions for People & Organizations
Gannon Group is a full service executive coaching, consulting and
training firm that provides turnaround strategies for people and
organizations. We improve team performance, executive leadership
skills, board performance, planning and project execution through
Executive Coaching, Management Team Development, Board
Development, and Training in the areas of...
Healthcare
Business
Operational Excellence
Strategic Direction & Meeting Facilitation
Fundraising
Association Management
Non-Profit Management
Personal Turnaround
Sales
Communications & Public Relations
Contact Gannon Group at info@startingovernow.com.
Gannon Group is a full service executive coaching, consulting and
training firm that provides turnaround strategies for people and
organizations. We improve team performance, executive leadership
skills, board performance, planning and project execution through
Executive Coaching, Management Team Development, Board
Development, and Training in the areas of...
Healthcare
Business
Operational Excellence
Strategic Direction & Meeting Facilitation
Fundraising
Association Management
Non-Profit Management
Personal Turnaround
Sales
Communications & Public Relations
Contact Gannon Group at info@startingovernow.com.
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FREE Resources
to help you:
1. United States of America's
primary source on career
information:
www.onetcenter.org
2. Wage Estimates
www.salary.com and Bureau of
Labor and Statistics
3. Organize Your Job Search -
Post a Question etc.:
www.cvtips.com
4. Starting Over After Divorce:
www.womansdivorce.com
5. Starting Over for Women:
www.makingbreadmagazine.co
m
6. Self Improvement:
www.selfgrowth.com.
7. Job Postings, Resume
Advice and Resources:
www.careerbuiler.com
8. Templates for: business
plans, competitive analysis,
start up costs and more:
www.score.org/business_toolbox
.html
9. Federal/Sate/Local
Government jobs:
www.USAJOBS.com
10. U.S. Government's Free
online courses, webinars and
podcasts for workforce
development:
www.onetacademy.com.
11. Occupational Outlook
Handbok 2008-09 by Bureau of
Labor and Statistics:
http://www.bls.gov/oco/home.ht
m
to help you:
1. United States of America's
primary source on career
information:
www.onetcenter.org
2. Wage Estimates
www.salary.com and Bureau of
Labor and Statistics
3. Organize Your Job Search -
Post a Question etc.:
www.cvtips.com
4. Starting Over After Divorce:
www.womansdivorce.com
5. Starting Over for Women:
www.makingbreadmagazine.co
m
6. Self Improvement:
www.selfgrowth.com.
7. Job Postings, Resume
Advice and Resources:
www.careerbuiler.com
8. Templates for: business
plans, competitive analysis,
start up costs and more:
www.score.org/business_toolbox
.html
9. Federal/Sate/Local
Government jobs:
www.USAJOBS.com
10. U.S. Government's Free
online courses, webinars and
podcasts for workforce
development:
www.onetacademy.com.
11. Occupational Outlook
Handbok 2008-09 by Bureau of
Labor and Statistics:
http://www.bls.gov/oco/home.ht
m
| Mary Lee Gannon is interviewed on Mind Your BIZness |
Listen to Mary
Lee's interview
"From Welfare
to CEO" on the
Renee Bobb
Show on
BlogTalk
Radio.com.
Lee's interview
"From Welfare
to CEO" on the
Renee Bobb
Show on
BlogTalk
Radio.com.
Gannon Group/StartingOverNow.com
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Executive Leadership Coaching - Productivity Solutions for People and Organizations
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Mary Lee Gannon's
Book "Starting Over" is
available in bookstores
everywhere or at
Amazon.com - 5 Stars!
Book "Starting Over" is
available in bookstores
everywhere or at
Amazon.com - 5 Stars!
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