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Feel the Fear - How to Build Self-Confidence
“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and
courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it.
Go out and get busy.” ~ Dale Carnegie
Self-confidence is a mindset whereby you are certain that you can
tackle any challenge for a better outcome because you know how to go
about it strategically. Notice this does not suggest that you will always
get it right – nor that you will get their without consequence. But you
know that you can handle the situation because you have the tools.
So what are the tools? Simple. Think back to everything you feared as
a child – first day of school, fitting in with new friends, not making the
team, disappointing your parents. Did any of these things kill you? Of
course not. Emotionally hurt you? Probably. But did the outcome of
any of these permanently stop you from tackling the challenge again –
starting a first day at work, fitting in with new friends, trying out for
another team or competing in an activity, or striving for the approval of
your parents. I suspect not.
Top 2 Tools for Building Self Confidence
1.) Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
It may be safe to say that the first tool to building self-confidence is to
know that in your past you have already “felt the fear and did it anyway.”
Don’t fear the fear. Fear is only a paralyzing emotion when it becomes
the ONLY emotion or in the very least the overriding emotion. So the
tool to use when you feel fear or doubt yourself is to accept that fear is
an emotion that you feel today just as you feel love for those you care
about, joy in the good work of yourself and others and sadness for
those who suffer. But if fear rises to the top of these emotions it is time
to take the energy that fear riles in you and use that energy to get
excited about your ultimate goal – feeling good about what you are
about to do. You have tackled fears before and survived. Concentrate
on what you will feel like when you have accomplished your goal. Feel
it in your body. Listen to what your voice will sound like. It’s grand!
2.) Stay in Your Own Head
Don’t take on the perception of others. You can only deliver
information, presentations, outcomes etc. from your own perspective –
from what you are thinking – not from what others are thinking. If your
fear is public speaking, build your confidence by erasing the head trash
vision of a poor performance and replace it with the feeling of having
performed well. Fear is felt because you saw yourself from another
person’s eyes underperforming. Get outside of their head and back
into your own head. Concentrate on being behind your own eyes and
feeling the adrenaline rush from having done well. Envision yourself at
the end of the journey having succeeded. Sketch that vision on paper
and hang it where you will see it everyday to remind yourself of the
positive vision and feeling. Make a list of the advantages of taking the
productive risk that you’ve been avoiding. Focus on the positive
outcome and feeling that success will bring you.
Daily Activities that Build Confidence
(Remember a habit takes 21 days to form.)
1.) Dress Sharp. You ARE sharp. Confident people take care of
themselves.
2.) Look Only Straight Ahead When You Walk. You will never be able
to smile at people when you are looking at your shoes.
3.) Walk at a Brisk Pace. After all, you have a lot to do and your time is
valuable.
4.) Keep a Journal. In this journal concentrate on what limitations you
may be placing on yourself that keep you from your ultimate goal. List
your strengths. Evaluate why others may not have identified all of your
strengths.
5.) Stand Up and Sit Up Straight Like You’ve Swallowed a Poker.
What you think about people who are slouched over? How did John F.
Kennedy stand? What did you think of his confidence?
6.) Be Grateful. Make a list of your family, friends, neighbors, co-
workers, colleagues, interests, talents, pets etc. Then list next to each
one why you are grateful that they are in your life. This makes a great
journal entry.
7.) Volunteer. Volunteering is a great way to learn a new skill and
meet new people while making a meaningful difference.
8.) Read Something New. Learn about something that interests you
for which you never thought you had the time.
9.) Speak Slowly. I have seen people who truly do not have a lot to say
gain attention at a table full of people just by speaking slowly. Don’t
forget the power of the pause.
10.) Know Your Elevator Speech. Be able to describe in 30 seconds
what you do and why it is needed.
11.) Sit in the Front Row and Speak Up. People who do not want to be
noticed sit in the back.
12.) Exercise and Eat Healthy. You know to do this anyway, right?
Why does this suggestion appear in all programs for improvement?
Because it is essential.
The most important thing you can do to build your confidence is to take
action. Write down your fears. Acknowledge them and ask yourself
why they are so prevalent. Write down what you can do to tackle them.
Start now!
“Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in
the face.” ~ Helen Keller
Email this to a friend who may appreciate the advice. Follow Mary Lee’
s tips on Twitter at StartingOverNow.
For the FREE Worksheets: “Begin With the End in Mind and Sketch that
Vision on Paper” and “SMART Goals” go to Mary Lee's Articles and Tips
Sheets page.
Mary Lee Gannon is a personal turnaround, leadership and
productivity expert who went from being a stay-at-home mother with
four children living a country club life to the reality of a difficult marriage,
divorce, homelessness, and welfare. As a guest speaker, she
demonstrates how she went from an earning capacity of $27,000 to
president and CEO. Her book "Starting Over - 25 Rules for When
You've Bottomed Out" is available in bookstores. Email Mary Lee at
info@StartingOverNow.com.
“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and
courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it.
Go out and get busy.” ~ Dale Carnegie
Self-confidence is a mindset whereby you are certain that you can
tackle any challenge for a better outcome because you know how to go
about it strategically. Notice this does not suggest that you will always
get it right – nor that you will get their without consequence. But you
know that you can handle the situation because you have the tools.
So what are the tools? Simple. Think back to everything you feared as
a child – first day of school, fitting in with new friends, not making the
team, disappointing your parents. Did any of these things kill you? Of
course not. Emotionally hurt you? Probably. But did the outcome of
any of these permanently stop you from tackling the challenge again –
starting a first day at work, fitting in with new friends, trying out for
another team or competing in an activity, or striving for the approval of
your parents. I suspect not.
Top 2 Tools for Building Self Confidence
1.) Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
It may be safe to say that the first tool to building self-confidence is to
know that in your past you have already “felt the fear and did it anyway.”
Don’t fear the fear. Fear is only a paralyzing emotion when it becomes
the ONLY emotion or in the very least the overriding emotion. So the
tool to use when you feel fear or doubt yourself is to accept that fear is
an emotion that you feel today just as you feel love for those you care
about, joy in the good work of yourself and others and sadness for
those who suffer. But if fear rises to the top of these emotions it is time
to take the energy that fear riles in you and use that energy to get
excited about your ultimate goal – feeling good about what you are
about to do. You have tackled fears before and survived. Concentrate
on what you will feel like when you have accomplished your goal. Feel
it in your body. Listen to what your voice will sound like. It’s grand!
2.) Stay in Your Own Head
Don’t take on the perception of others. You can only deliver
information, presentations, outcomes etc. from your own perspective –
from what you are thinking – not from what others are thinking. If your
fear is public speaking, build your confidence by erasing the head trash
vision of a poor performance and replace it with the feeling of having
performed well. Fear is felt because you saw yourself from another
person’s eyes underperforming. Get outside of their head and back
into your own head. Concentrate on being behind your own eyes and
feeling the adrenaline rush from having done well. Envision yourself at
the end of the journey having succeeded. Sketch that vision on paper
and hang it where you will see it everyday to remind yourself of the
positive vision and feeling. Make a list of the advantages of taking the
productive risk that you’ve been avoiding. Focus on the positive
outcome and feeling that success will bring you.
Daily Activities that Build Confidence
(Remember a habit takes 21 days to form.)
1.) Dress Sharp. You ARE sharp. Confident people take care of
themselves.
2.) Look Only Straight Ahead When You Walk. You will never be able
to smile at people when you are looking at your shoes.
3.) Walk at a Brisk Pace. After all, you have a lot to do and your time is
valuable.
4.) Keep a Journal. In this journal concentrate on what limitations you
may be placing on yourself that keep you from your ultimate goal. List
your strengths. Evaluate why others may not have identified all of your
strengths.
5.) Stand Up and Sit Up Straight Like You’ve Swallowed a Poker.
What you think about people who are slouched over? How did John F.
Kennedy stand? What did you think of his confidence?
6.) Be Grateful. Make a list of your family, friends, neighbors, co-
workers, colleagues, interests, talents, pets etc. Then list next to each
one why you are grateful that they are in your life. This makes a great
journal entry.
7.) Volunteer. Volunteering is a great way to learn a new skill and
meet new people while making a meaningful difference.
8.) Read Something New. Learn about something that interests you
for which you never thought you had the time.
9.) Speak Slowly. I have seen people who truly do not have a lot to say
gain attention at a table full of people just by speaking slowly. Don’t
forget the power of the pause.
10.) Know Your Elevator Speech. Be able to describe in 30 seconds
what you do and why it is needed.
11.) Sit in the Front Row and Speak Up. People who do not want to be
noticed sit in the back.
12.) Exercise and Eat Healthy. You know to do this anyway, right?
Why does this suggestion appear in all programs for improvement?
Because it is essential.
The most important thing you can do to build your confidence is to take
action. Write down your fears. Acknowledge them and ask yourself
why they are so prevalent. Write down what you can do to tackle them.
Start now!
“Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in
the face.” ~ Helen Keller
Email this to a friend who may appreciate the advice. Follow Mary Lee’
s tips on Twitter at StartingOverNow.
For the FREE Worksheets: “Begin With the End in Mind and Sketch that
Vision on Paper” and “SMART Goals” go to Mary Lee's Articles and Tips
Sheets page.
Mary Lee Gannon is a personal turnaround, leadership and
productivity expert who went from being a stay-at-home mother with
four children living a country club life to the reality of a difficult marriage,
divorce, homelessness, and welfare. As a guest speaker, she
demonstrates how she went from an earning capacity of $27,000 to
president and CEO. Her book "Starting Over - 25 Rules for When
You've Bottomed Out" is available in bookstores. Email Mary Lee at
info@StartingOverNow.com.
StartingOverNow.com
Articles
FREE e-book.
Get Mary Lee's FREE
e-book "Make Your
Wheel of Fortune
Spin on Balance" by
clicking here. Mary Lee
Gannon's work as a
newspaper reporter,
trade association
executive director,
public relations
consultant,
entrepreneur, and
hospital foundation
president and CEO are
the basis for her free
e-newsletter with tips on
"Starting Over."
Get Mary Lee's FREE
e-book "Make Your
Wheel of Fortune
Spin on Balance" by
clicking here. Mary Lee
Gannon's work as a
newspaper reporter,
trade association
executive director,
public relations
consultant,
entrepreneur, and
hospital foundation
president and CEO are
the basis for her free
e-newsletter with tips on
"Starting Over."
People who use the
FREE resources on
this site are:
* Starting over in
their career or
personal life
* Empty nesters
* Entrepreneurs
* Networking
* Job Seekers
* Starting all over
again
* Going through a
divorce
* Looking for career
opportunities
* Seeking FREE
career advice and
education
* Finding mentors
* Setting new life
goals
To chart your road
map to success
click here for FREE
"Worksheets and
Articles."
FREE resources on
this site are:
* Starting over in
their career or
personal life
* Empty nesters
* Entrepreneurs
* Networking
* Job Seekers
* Starting all over
again
* Going through a
divorce
* Looking for career
opportunities
* Seeking FREE
career advice and
education
* Finding mentors
* Setting new life
goals
To chart your road
map to success
click here for FREE
"Worksheets and
Articles."
Mary Lee Gannon's
Book "Starting Over"
will be released in
November of 2009.
Look for it in stores or
order it from
Amazon.com.
Book "Starting Over"
will be released in
November of 2009.
Look for it in stores or
order it from
Amazon.com.
Follow Mary Lee's tips
and information on these
Social Networking sites:
and information on these
Social Networking sites:
Turnaround Solutions for People & Organizations
Whether you are an executive who is "stuck," your company needs
better productivity, or you are in a life transition you represent the
people and organizations Executive Leadership Coach Mary Lee has
helped. Learn how to clarify direction, create strategy, upgrade skills,
optimize your environment and wipe out fear and doubt. Make it fun =
get more done!
Mary Lee’s strategies from her book “Starting Over” helped her in her
own transformation from stay-at-home mother with four children living
a country club life to the reality of a difficult marriage, divorce, poverty,
welfare and then on to president and CEO. Eliminate self doubt, under-
performance, money fears, relationships woes, and negative influence
so that you may soar. Then lead others to improve their lives and your
business. Start now! For a FREE introductory coaching session via
phone contact info@startingovernow.com.
Whether you are an executive who is "stuck," your company needs
better productivity, or you are in a life transition you represent the
people and organizations Executive Leadership Coach Mary Lee has
helped. Learn how to clarify direction, create strategy, upgrade skills,
optimize your environment and wipe out fear and doubt. Make it fun =
get more done!
Mary Lee’s strategies from her book “Starting Over” helped her in her
own transformation from stay-at-home mother with four children living
a country club life to the reality of a difficult marriage, divorce, poverty,
welfare and then on to president and CEO. Eliminate self doubt, under-
performance, money fears, relationships woes, and negative influence
so that you may soar. Then lead others to improve their lives and your
business. Start now! For a FREE introductory coaching session via
phone contact info@startingovernow.com.
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FREE Resources
to help you:
1. United States of America's
primary source on career
information:
www.onetcenter.org
2. Wage Estimates
www.salary.com and Bureau of
Labor and Statistics
3. Organize Your Job Search -
Post a Question etc.:
www.cvtips.com
4. Starting Over After Divorce:
www.womansdivorce.com
5. Starting Over for Women:
www.makingbreadmagazine.co
m
6. Self Improvement:
www.selfgrowth.com.
7. Job Postings, Resume
Advice and Resources:
www.careerbuiler.com
8. Templates for: business
plans, competitive analysis,
start up costs and more:
www.score.org/business_toolbox
.html
9. Federal/Sate/Local
Government jobs:
www.USAJOBS.com
10. U.S. Government's Free
online courses, webinars and
podcasts for workforce
development:
www.onetacademy.com.
11. Occupational Outlook
Handbok 2008-09 by Bureau of
Labor and Statistics:
http://www.bls.gov/oco/home.ht
m
to help you:
1. United States of America's
primary source on career
information:
www.onetcenter.org
2. Wage Estimates
www.salary.com and Bureau of
Labor and Statistics
3. Organize Your Job Search -
Post a Question etc.:
www.cvtips.com
4. Starting Over After Divorce:
www.womansdivorce.com
5. Starting Over for Women:
www.makingbreadmagazine.co
m
6. Self Improvement:
www.selfgrowth.com.
7. Job Postings, Resume
Advice and Resources:
www.careerbuiler.com
8. Templates for: business
plans, competitive analysis,
start up costs and more:
www.score.org/business_toolbox
.html
9. Federal/Sate/Local
Government jobs:
www.USAJOBS.com
10. U.S. Government's Free
online courses, webinars and
podcasts for workforce
development:
www.onetacademy.com.
11. Occupational Outlook
Handbok 2008-09 by Bureau of
Labor and Statistics:
http://www.bls.gov/oco/home.ht
m
| Mary Lee Gannon is interviewed on Mind Your BIZness |
Listen to Mary
Lee's interview
"From Welfare
to CEO" on the
Renee Bobb
Show on
BlogTalk
Radio.com.
Lee's interview
"From Welfare
to CEO" on the
Renee Bobb
Show on
BlogTalk
Radio.com.
Get the FREE e-Book "Make Your
Wheel of Fortune Spin on Balance"
and the Starting Over Now FREE
e-Newsletter. Start now!
Wheel of Fortune Spin on Balance"
and the Starting Over Now FREE
e-Newsletter. Start now!
StartingOverNow.com
Executive Leadership Coaching - Turnaround Solutions for People and Organizations
Executive Leadership Coaching - Turnaround Solutions for People and Organizations